Been a while

Wow, it's been a while since I have blogged!! I am sorry to YOU the avid reader. But, don't worry,I have been busy working out and I think it's paying off, take a look at the pic of the NEW me:
I am soo excited that my exercise program is really starting to show great results! If you want to start getting healthy, let me know, I would be happy to share my regime with you. Just let me know.

cents, since, sense......

Don't you wish things made more sense? I wish I made more cents! Since I don't, it doesn't make any sense!

Short and to the point. Now that makes sense!

Touchdown!!!!

I don't think I need to say anymore!

Time for a Rant

OK, buckle up! I haven't done it in a while and I try not to, as you all know I like to be the "glass is half full" type of a guy. However, I just finished one of "those" weeks, I spent 6 straight days being "trained"(which is debatable) for 12 hours a day in a conference room, 200+ PowerPoint slides, ya, don't do the math, I did it for you, that's over 1,200 slides total. Let's just say it was a loooooong and challenging week for one who borders on having ADD! and leave it at that because I never know who might read this and I would kinda like to stay employed. Now that I think about it, I best just leave it be. Oh, and I love Florida, they have the best conference rooms.....

However, there was a bright spot(I mean besides coming home). Dan Clark was hired to speak to us in the final session, very impressive! (of course anyone with a joke or two and no ppt slides would have been impressive at that point) he as great, very thought provoking, I learned that I don't need to CHANGE, I just need to be more of who I already am! (I am sure many of you can't wait for that to happen) and I am going to be. Really I am. Dan's most poignant idea that really resonated with me was; Contrary to what we are constantly taught, we need to stop trying to think outside the box, because, just maybe .. . . ready? here it comes........ "what if the answers are inside the box" ya think about it. I know I am diving deep here for some of you but that's OK, hang with me.

Anyway that's enough of my rant, if I go on, I will saying something I probaly shouldn't and you will get to the end of this pontification and wonder why, you wasted your time reading this bunk. Well OK, you can do that now!

P.S. just a little side rant, if you are ever in the waiting room of the doctors office and have the urge to pick up your cell phone and call your husband to tell him about the guy that backed into you in the parking lot, you may want to step outside like ALL the other patients were doing. Because, I and everyone else in that room now know the name(for privacy reason I won't give it here, but I do know it) of the man that backed into you, his address,(he lives in Provo, kinda up by my house), his insurance info(he's insured with Progressive, and again I won't post his account # as it was repeated 3 times, very slowly so I could right it down) and that he drives a 2000 Toyota Camry. I sure hope their neighbor Pete gets to look at it and let them know what it will take to get it fixed. Thank goodness the nurse called them back to a room and we could all still hear her as the went down the hall. Ya, I was a littler irritated because it was interupting my reading of my new Dan Clark book!!!!

shoooo, I feel better! don't you?

Carry on....

Another joyous day of travel. So I am minding my own business, waiting for my flight. I had to snap a picture of this; this guy and his wife had two infants, a stroller, bag in stroller, the largest neck pillow invented, and a Cello! The look on the Delta gate agent's face was priceless! Funny thing, these type of people always have seats next to me. When the gate agent inquired, the man informed him that he had purchased a ticket for the Cello, oh ya nice, don't buy a ticket for either of your children but, do get on for your instrument. But then again, I am assuming that there is actually a Cello in that case hmmmm.

bloggers cramp

Oh Crap! I just realized something that many of you have, I am sure, already noticed. I have BLOGGERS CRAMP!! As you can tell by my posts for the last month(ok, so pretty much any post I have done), they are really lacking in thought and substance. But hey, so am I !

I had bloggers cramp once before and even though it may not look like it, I got over it. Now hold on, don't get upset or worry for me. Just give me some time and a few business trips, I will be good to go. (well as good as I can be, don't get too excited, it's not like I am suddenly going to start writing anything worthwhile)

Just remember; You get what you pay for!! I know I know, I owe you.. . . .

Well I guess if you have to have cramps, bloggers cramp is better than some of the other cramps out there. See, I am kind of a "cup half full" guy. Just not too sure what it's half full of??

Forgive me for not having a visually stunning graphic or picture in this post.(I know you were expecting one) It's really difficult to find an appropriate graphically representation of cramps.

So in closing, I have a question for YOU, yes, YOU the anonymous reader of this drivel;
What is your favorite topic of discussion on this high caliber, thought provoking, deep thinking, informative, & down right good blog? leave a commentt(see that little comment button down there, click on it).

Mixed messages

I don't get it, where's the mixed message? I think it's clear..... McDonalds can no longer afford the top billboards

That's a pretty small billboard, they should super size it.

Man, I can relate to this kid....

except in my world there is no one with a hack saw........

it's Elliot!!!

Duct Tape.....

So did ya notice, my last 2 posts included duct tape? I must assure you that was totally a random incident but, as I was reflecting on my blog(like I do each day) I realized the coincidence of duct tape(sometimes it takes me awhile to grasp the obvious).

As you know, I spend a countless hours of planning and research to make sure I give you(my beloved reader) the most useless crap to read on my blog. With that said, I bring you the Duct Tape Wedding..... (yes, duct tape comes in white!)
More pics of the Duct Tape wedding http://www.ducttapeguys.com/fashion/wedding/photos.html

Or save some money for the prom:
I decided not to post the pics of Duct Tape Lingerie.....thank me later.

Now for those of you that are soo0 intrigued and want to start working with Duct Tape yourself.... I have done the research for you(remember, it's all about YOU here at Life & Times). check this out: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/howto/index.html

Wanna learn more? - Duct Tape 101
http://www.ducttapeguys.com/DT101/index.html

So who's going to be the first to send me a pic of something they made with Duct Tape?

Need a babysitter?

So I have this "friend" who wanted to take this wife out to a nice dinner, so they got a babysitter out of the local paper, the reference and the add were great, "professional nanny skills" and at a reasonable price too. When they returned home here's what they found.

I mean that's great, not all babysitters would think to duck tape the kid's stuffed animal right next to them, how thoughtfull, It's the little things that make this babysitter so great!

So as you know, I like to lookout for YOU, my blog reader, if you need a babysitter, I believe I just found one for you. No need to thank me. your warm look of gratitude is all I need.

Drive'n Along Minding My Own Business

So I am drive'n along doin' my thing and this is what I see-

I mean I knew this was a college town but hey, this little "hazing" incident has gotten outta hand! I mean look, they made that dude wear red shoes in public! He's going to be scarred for life. Don't ya think it's kinda weird that he looks like me? But you can tell it's not me cause my belly button is much more hairy..... really it is. I will show you sometime!

Holiday Concern

So I was in San Jose this week and on my way to an appt when I discovered that the Holiday Season my not be all that we're used to. Apparently Santa has had a rough year! you know, I wonder why he picked San Jose, do you think he has a winter house there? I knew house prices were crazy in California but I mean, Santa on the street! it's quite concerning.

Frustration.....

Some females I know have been frustrated, they are not getting the results they were expecting from Weight Watchers..... I have done some investigation and think I have found out why. I believe the picture will help.

Just a little warning for you....

I know at least one person that would FREAK OUT!!

Where to go?

Sometimes, even as a 4 year old who has been to Disneyland a gazillion times, you need to take some time and read the map. And, Sometimes all those @$## grown ups take all the seats on the bench so you just have to plop down in the middle of the sidewalk, they'll all walk around you. Untill the old lady with the motorized cart comes by and is paying more attention to the Mickey Jack o lantern than where she is going! Don't worry he's alright. you would be able to see any of the tire marks on his face in a couple of weeks.

Long day at the park

Sometimes after a long day at "the happiest place on earth" ya just don't want it to end! You should have seen him brushing his teeth.... the head hit the pillow and he's out! and his hands won't get cold tonight.

McKay looks at it this way, he's got a head start on tomorrow.

Man, what a blast!

Last Word

So I am told that I always have to get the last word in.........(probably because I am always right).. but, if that were the case I would like blogging more than I do. When you blog, you always get the last word in cause no one can add to your post. Sure, you can comment but, 90% of the people that read your blog don't dare or care to comment. so why do people not like to share comments?

Just like the picture, sometimes we have to look up to see the obvious....

Oh, I had a dear dear friend share this with me, you can find out what type of bra you are
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofbraareyouquiz/

I am a sleek black bra. I guess it's cause I am soo supportive. I am soo glad I found out, I have been wondering what type of bra I am for sometime.

Don't you wish this all made sense? well, just be thankful that it doesn't make scents......cause, as you can imagine, that would NOT be good.

and now for the quote of the day:

"I really didn't say everything I said."

- Yogi Berra

Good morning

So you saw last nights sunset so I thought I would share this mornings sunrise.... Well ok, I really just wanted to prove that I do get up before the crack of dawn. Sleep is so over rated, who needs it?

I would share my "friend" story of the day but it's too early, people aren't too friendly in the morning. Especially the security screeners(I am gonna be sore for a few days).

P.S. Make it a great day!

Another day on the road......

So here's the view from my hotel room this evening. What a lovely time. I got done for the day, changed into my workout clothes and headed down to the gym, that's when I met my first "friend" he asked if I was going to workout? "No" I said "I am heading down to the wedding in the grand ballroom, it's a casual affair". Guess what?
He already worked out so he could go get a fattening dinner, I am sure you, like I, really care. I won't even bore you with the story of my kickboxer "friend" in the weight room or my middle eastern oil tycoon "friend" from the sauna(and YES everyone was clothed! you know you were thinking of some smart comment! Sick, just sick!) or my "I need a friend" "friend" at the chicken quasadilla bar in the concierge lounge... Let's just enjoy the lovely Houston sunset shall we? We shall! Look at that, I am even talking to myself in my blog.... That's what too much traveling will do to you.

P.S. How do you spell quasadilla?

Look at my spoon

Sport'n a little morning mohawk.

Dental Experience

So, I was at the dentist the other day and this is what I saw when I looked up. Kinda freaked me out. I mean look at those gloves! And how professional is it to wear a T-Shirt under your lab coat? I mean really!

Oh Ya, Football is here.

It's college football time again. Ya know, you never know who you might sit next to! I have no idea what happened to this guys top lip? or his nostrils for that matter but hey, he is definitely happy to be there. So was I. It's always a good day out when your team wins, OK so it probally wasn't so good for the little girl that threw up right in front of us during our halftime social session. Don't worry, I think she feels much better after "releasing the hounds", at least she looked like it. And hey, all those people that walked through her little "spill" don't even know what they were stepping in, nor do they care because, THE COUGS WON!

P.S. I keep getting asked why I don't comment on other peoples blogs. Well, just spend some time reading MY blog...........Would you really want some one that writes this CRAP commenting on your blog? I mean really, would you? it's not like I even passed an English class for pete's sake.

Good seats

Not to shabby for a $6 ticket. It helps that the Rangers are terrible this year and it's a Tuesday night. Wow exciting huh!!!!! maybe I just need a better background for my blog........ it would be way cool is you could customize the background on your blog, someone should look into it. I will even let them have credit for the idea.

Cutting Edge Product

As you know, I am always on the look out for YOU my reader. Today I have found a very unique product and knowing that my readership is avant-garde, I thought would share it with you.

I don't think I need to say any more nor share any photos, just go to the following url, and make sure you click on the interactive demo.

http://www.cleanbutt.com/default.asp#

Now there's a gift idea for the hard to buy for person on your list.......

My lunch

So I thought I would share my lunch with you. Can you guess where I am? The amazing part is that I have low cholesterol..... but, as you know, I am not low on FAT!!!

I am gonna have to go run like 50 miles to work this off. Oh, did I mention that this was my second In-N-Out in two days.... this is one of the few benefits of traveling so much, Yes I said FEW!

For those of you that are not "up to speed" on In-N-Out and you are wondering what the ? is that next to my burger. That is an order of fries animal style. Yes, they are fat free! kinda like me. I would like to see Chadders do that!!

Rant

Since I am battling through my bloggers block, I would like to take a moment for a little rant. indulge me here. Why is it soooo d@$# difficult to figure out how to handle a roundabout? Come on folks it's a "Yield" sign not a "Stop" sign. That's the beauty of a roundabout, if no one is coming you don't have to stop. And, Yes we are all brothers and sisters but, that doesn't mean that we can't lay on the horn when you choose to STOP at a roundabout. (see I told you it would be short)

Now, if there are any of you reading this that I have offended, well our friends in Urbandale Iowa have graciously provided you with intstructions on using a roundabout see the following url
http://www.urbandale.org/Streets/roundaboutfolder/roundaboutHowTo.htm

If you find that after reading the How To guide from Urbandale, that you are still a bit confused on the proper proceedure for addressing roundabout, might I suggest you MOVE to Urbandale! They can give you some hands on training.

Blah'ging

I know you have come to respect my sharp wit and quick(dry) sarcasm. It's with that in mind that I am a bit reluctant to share the latest......... Well, I have "writers block" at least that's what us professional bloggers call it. I think all authors and writers should start using that term, it's kinda catchy. Just remember you heard it here first!

Looking at the picture you can see that, even as a baby, I sat around a lot with my finger up my nose, it stimulates the thought process, kinda like poking a sleeping cat. alas, it's not working, still blocked up! maybe I should poke harder, but it took about 5 minutes to stop the last nose bleed.

Aren't you glad you just wasted 3 minutes reading my worthless muttering, hey, at least you saw a cute picture..... ya gotta give me that one.

If only I were a vampire! . . . . . .

Male Waxing . . . . . . .Oh my!

Having too much body hair is akin to having too little head hair, says Stan Williams, fashion and grooming director of Maxim magazine. "A lot of guys are concerned about it, but it's not something you really talk about."

So let's talk about it.......... As you can see, I have done some investigating on the topic and oh boy, I am not sure how to proceed with this one, I mean, I try to have a family friendly blog and this one is a bit edgey, careful here, I don't want to go over that edge.

Let me start by sharing some quotes:
"Waxing makes up 35% to 40% of the business at Joq Day Spa for Men in Atlanta. "Men are just becoming a lot more conscious of what their body looks like," spa director Christopher Keever says. "They realize you don't need to go around looking like the missing link."

Missing link? get a little fur on your back and all the sudden you are the missing link?

"Even cowboys get the back-hair blues. At Napoleon's for Men, a 2-year-old hot-shave-and-haircut hangout in Boise, guys who are no strangers to reins and rifles will occasionally call and ask whether waxing hurts. "I say, 'You can handle it,' " receptionist Dayna Ross says."

Well Hello, if the cowboys are doing it, we all should. I mean, a guy that sits on a 2,000lb agitated bull holding on with one hand, has a wad of chew in his mouth, a pair of wranglers that are 2 sizes too small, and a old sweaty hat, is really someone that I am going to take personal grooming tips from.

Here's the one that sums it up:
Body hair "makes you a man. It's a maturity thing," says Bates College senior Chris Robinson, 21. "I bet it would be ridiculously painful" to take off. But he could be persuaded: "If a girl asked me, yeah, I would do it."

and that's pretty much it, if your girl asked you to do it you would!!!! So I called for my appointment and was explained my "options" like the SBC and oh man....... we're at the edge now so I will stop there.


NO, I didn't make and appointment, even though I know some of you wished I had. I find a subtle comfort in my fur.

Ever feel like you are being watched?

Kung Fu in the Forest......

O.K. I thought I would share a bit of a nature experience. I was recently at a family reunion and though there were many blogging opportunities that presented themselves(readers of my blog pointed some out to me, requesting a blog entry. Thank you for that! it seems you have all realized I need all the help I can get) I have decided that the sagacious thing to do would be to preserve them in the vault. However, I had to share something from the experience, really it's just that I haven't blogged for a couple of days and wanted to give YOU, the reader something new.(see, contrary to popular belief, it's really all about YOU) so here goes.........

As we were up in the mountains and the "facilities" were a bit unsavory, I decided to sneak away for a moment to alleviate some pressure(ya, those of you that were there didn't notice huh?). Oh boy! that was a relief!! as I was struggling with a zipper, I noticed, and snapped a picture of the following scene across the clearing:

These two little guys were having it out(it so reminded me of my youth). The shocking thing is, I hadn't realized that bears have evolved to walk on their hind legs, I was impressed, until I realized it was to midgets(I mean short people) in tiny little bear suits. If you look closely, you can see the zipper on the one on the tree side. bit of a let down really.

I also learned that bears really do "crap in the woods" but that's another blog entry...........

New Car

Ya, so I am maturing(which is something a lot of you have been hoping for along time) The thought of being a responsible adult took over my vehicle purchasing decision, the $75 it took to fill my Tahoe with gas last week kinda helped. So, I know you will be a bit disappointed(ya like you give a crap what I buy) but I didn't purchase a truck. I bought a very reasonable and economical car!!

Now, I have always heard that you should buy a car that resembles the owner, however if I had done that, I would have ended up with something like the picture below.......... quite unnerving.

Come on, I have a little self dignity left . . . . . .

Corporate Sponsorship

You know, I am so proud of Tiger for not selling out to large corporate sponsorship. I mean he hasn't changed a bit since Nike started sponsoring him. That says alot given the pressure some of these athletes are subjected to!

Yes, I do believe Nike is getting their moneys worth, how about you?

One of those days.....

So, there I was in my new red shorts, (you know the ones with the big black and small white stripe down the sides.) I was just getting down into position to speedily handle my next languid foe. Then he steps out, my first thought is, "Man, this dude needs a bro." (and I don't mean like in "brother" either!!) my next thought is: "didn't I see this guy in the sauna when I was in Prague last month?"(didn't recognize him with shorts on.) Then I think "I bet he's been kicked out of a Chinese Buffet?" and then I wonder "what's he looking so mad for, he's not the one that has to touch some big(OK fat) sweaty mans bare flesh." but then I realized I probally should come up with a plan here........ did he just say "get in my belly"?

What do you think I did?

Pioneer Day

As you know, I try very hard to look out for my loyal readers..(both of them). So for the females out there, I got a hot one for ya.....ain't this a pretty sight~


Yes, I really do know this fine looking specimen, but I am afraid he's taken and I think it's pretty obvious why!!!! I mean he's got metals......(I wonder what they are for?)

Happy Pioneer Day!!!

Tagged!.

So I have been told that I have been tagged. Ya well, tell me something new. I get tagged all the time! Tag's are over used. People tag other people all the time. sometimes those tag's can be pretty misleading or biased. anyway, I digress....... Someone(no idea who) want's me to list 7 facts about myself. are you sure? just remember........ this was asked for...

In no particular order:

1. I went topless while on the beach in Cancun.
2. I have had a gun pulled on me. (surprise surprise)
3. I have been jumped by 4 guys and had my nose shattered. (yep)
4. I don't like typing things about myself on the Internet. (really really!)
5. I have been to 11 countries outside of the U.S.(and only offended the locals in 6 of them)
6. I have a birthmark on my inner thigh. (No, I won't show you)
7. I have had plastic surgery, twice. (don't you wish you knew where?)

OK wasn't that fun, do you really feel like you know me better now? really do you?

It's a book!

Yep, that pretty much sums it up! I am thinking of going to Wal-Mart and camping out so I can get a copy. Well, ok really I would just to like to hang out at Wal-Mart through the night. (just image the friends I could make.) If only I could read!!! I feel like I am missing out on something........ but then again, I am!!

Boundary Pushers

Oh man, there are many Americans pushing the boundaries on a daily basis.(some of you don't even know it and some of your do!) I know you are asking yourself "what boundaries?" Take a look at the picture above, ever been to Weinerschnitzel?....... tasty huh?
I am very overwrought when thinking of the health of my devoted readers. What I am talking about is high cholesterol!! Yes, it's a serious condition that many fail to address. I even know some people who are on medication and yet their cholesterol remains high. I worry for those individuals so I thought I would offer some assistance to each of you take a look and thank me later:

http://www.lower-high-cholesterol-ready-or-not.com/

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P.S. I am a bit hurt, (OK, crushed) at the results of my second poll. I am glad it's almost over. I mean, I thought I had more that one friend? maybe this blogging stuff ain't that cool. No worries, I will cry myself to sleep tonight. again!

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Is anyone still reading this tripe?

Celebrating double digits with a Gift Idea

Since the blog thing is really catching on(I mean I have had 11 people vote on my poll, that's like double digits!!) I wanted to give a little back to my loyal readers(you know who you are). There so many times that we are looking for gifts to give to or loved ones and friends. I found exquisite gift idea and wanted to share it with you. Of course, I was looking to get this for Jodi but since she is one of the 11 people that read my blog(at least I like to think she is) I have spoiled the surprise. No worries, Jodi's brother is getting married, and I know they are not reading this so, I can get them a "his and hers" set.

Here ya go:

and hey, if anyone is thinking of getting me a gift.........................don't get this!

Blogging on the go

Trying the blogging mobile feature. Since I travel alot, I thought this feature would be helpful. I was able to take the pic above with my phone and send it right here to the blog. pretty cool.

Blog Babble

So I think I am starting to understand this blog thing. I thought the goal was to write something so insightful and deep that people were moved to change their lives. Boy, I was wrong! (which happens quite a bit, really, I got a few professors that will back me on that.) See the thing is, you want to write something, anything that will get people to make a comment! The joy and fulfillment of having a blog is to read the comments left by the readers. (I guess my wife is right, it's always about me) and that's also a good thing because I have nothing to say that is either deep or insightful. (of course you know that by now)

Another lesson I have learned is: Use pictures! people like to be visually surprised, (well some people do). Not to mention a picture says a 1,000 words and I am not about to type that many. (nor would you want me to)

The final lesson, every one's a critic! Opinions are like bums, everyone has one and most of them are full of crap! sorry, I had to throw it out there. But this also feeds into the reason why I like blogs, I mean people will even critique the gibberish I write. I love it. What a country!!

So for today's visually stunning optical pleasing array of pixels, I got one that may take you a moment to figure out(well some of you, others will get it right away and I won't comment on those who do) Since we are sports fans at our house and it's baseball time, here ya go:

Do you feel like leaving a comment now?

P.S. I almost forgot to mention that results of the poll. The most popular name was MIKE. Much to the chagrin of many of my female readers(and THANK YOU for reading), it edged out Edward and I know there are many who feel very passionate about the name Edward, to the point that it's almost discommoding.

Bark at the Moon

Seems fitting for a Friday the 13th, not to mention it's a great song for you Guitar Hero enthusiasts. It was the final song of the night tonight at our first Guitar Hero Set since Christmas. School kinda got in the way.... by the way, Mckay is getting quite good at it.

I must say some people take this blogging thing a bit too serious, like any of this drivel that people write in their blogs is going to affect your life or anything. Anyway back to the Moon Barking.... hey, did you hear, they found evidence of water on Mars, ya I got one of the exclusive pictures so I thought I would post it here. thank me later...

Oh, I can't wait to see the critics comment on this one......

Fashion Tip

I know many of you know me as very cutting edge with my fashion, I dare say if have felt the jealous stares from time to time. So today I thought I would pass along a cutting edge fashion tip to my female blogger friends. check it out:



Get yours today at:

http://www.popcornshirt.com


I can't wait to see you all wearing these sure to be fashion hits!

Twlight Tonight!!

No, it didn't include any vimpires, but it did include a bottle of marine wax, a 22' Boat, a rag, and Me. Yep no power tools, nothing to plug in, just me and my hands(it's amazing what you can do with them). I did however have a very helpful 10 year old that gave up going to play tennis. Very much appreciated!

Also, you must know that I take my "fans" very seriously. I consistently monitor their comments on my extensive blog and in response to one eager fans request for more pictures of Andrew, here you go:

I think it's Ice Cream.......Really!

The critic

So many of you have asked and been wondering who in the world was so negative(oops I mean Sarcastic) about my first post, so I thought I would share a snapshot of my blog critic........I hope I get a better review, after all I've now included kids!!

Isn't she just beautiful!!

I sure hope I get a better review now.....

The Anti-blog

So I was told that my blog was junk. oops, I have just been told to quote correctly it's actually "Sarcastic" and no one would want to read that. Since blogging is about getting peoples attention, I thought I would go with the tried and true tactics......KIDS so here's a shot of my nephew Andrew, he's hanging out on grandma's couch reading the new kids version of Twilight that his mom just got him. He's so into it we can't distract him....

Well then....

Everyone's blogging, herds of nerds, Joe Q. Public, and some lady about her deserts from the dessert.(or is that desserts from the desert?) So I figured why not experience blogging for myself.

So I got it set up, now what?